Finding My Place

Well hello again! I finally decided that it was about time that I actually wrote something on this blog of mine. (Please excuse me as I ramble on about what has been on my mind.) So as the end of my junior year approaches, I have found myself a bit lost. It's hard to make those decisions that effect your life forever, am I right? Visiting colleges, choosing a career, applying for scholarships, it's all quite scary if you think about it. It's even scarier when your whole world gets turned upside down like mine did this past week.

At the beginning my freshman year I figured out that I really wanted to be a nurse. I love helping people and thought that biology was interesting. *Nerd Moment* I was so excited to have my whole little world planned out. I would graduate high school, attend nursing school in California, and do my residency in the Bay Area. Now, I'm not so sure that's what I really want. I was at praise and worship this Friday at my school and I felt like God was trying to tell me something. "Slow down." After hearing that in my spirit, I asked myself: "Is this what I really want? Do I really want to do this be in this profession for the rest of my life?" This shocked me. I realized that maybe what I thought I wanted wasn't what I needed. Why is being a nurse no longer the right path for me? It was my plan, not His.

I'm definitely one of those people who tends to over-think things, so you can imagine how much this stressed me out. I am an analyzer. What can I say? I have dealt with anxiety problems my whole life. I always seem to have to worry about something. When I get stressed out, I try to speed through life and act like everything is okay. So if you ever see me walking really fast or awkwardly laughing at something.. there is really something else on my mind. I have always had a hard time just living in the moment. I have learned to control my anxiety more over the years, but I still have problems with it from time to time. 

Anyways, I've been praying about it these last couple of days and the Lord put this scripture on my heart: 

This made me realize that things in this life may come at us and try to take us down, but nothing can stop the plan that God has for your life. The same goes for me. I may not know what I really want to do after high school, but that's okay. I'll figure it out and when I do, I'll know that I'm in the right place because He put me there. 

Alissa xx